NFL Week 9: White MF
NFL Week 9: White MF
I was scrolling through Instagram this week, as one does, when I came across a Prince performance on SNL. I am a HUGE Prince fan, so I happily rewatched. It was one of his last TV appearances before his passing. In it he appears every bit of a 55 year old man, not prancing around the stage like the old days, but still giving a vibrant performance of some then brand new tracks. He was also rocking a huge afro, which was how he would wear his hair up until his last day. So I asked a question that had been bugging me since 2016, “No disrespect, but was that a wig he was wearing back then?” I was genuinely curious because his hairline was still in the same place it was in 1984, which was remarkable because even I don’t have the same hairline I had in 1984 and I am 20 years younger than him.
Also, knowing that hairlines and baldness are hereditary, and knowing that Prince’s dad was showing some scalp at the Purple Rain premiere when he would have been just 10 years older than Prince was in 2014, it wasn’t crazy to think that Prince may have been “enhancing” his follicles to some degree.
Well, let me tell ya, the Prince mafia jumped down my throat:
“Of course that is his real hair, how dare you!”
“Didn’t you see him in the 70’s, he had an afro then too.”
“He grew that hair, I promise you.”
Finally his drummer from the SNL performance, Hannah Whelton, chimed in and said “That was 100% his natural hair and it was fire!” I was shocked that an actual member of his band replied to my question. Being a fan, I geeked out. I thanked her and agreed that since she actually played in his band back then, she would know.
Then someone named @kai3x._ replied “She shouldn’t have to say it for u to believe it, white mf.” I don’t know what “mf” stands for, I assume it means “Magnificent Fan”, but what does being white have to do with anything? First of all, I am a proud Chicano with brown skin. Especially in the summertime. Except for my ass. My ass is lily white year round, but I digress.
Kai3x is entitled to express himself as he sees fit. It is social media so everyone has an opinion, just not sure what adding the “white mf” was supposed to do. Perhaps I will never know. I didn’t respond. It is what it is. In his estimation I am a “white mf”. And in my estimation he is a dumbass. I won’t say “black dumbass” because to me it’s a person’s character that I judge, not their skin color. And his character is that of a dumbass.
Not a big deal though. Being a fantasy football manager, I am used to dealing with dumbasses. Every week some coach makes a dumbass decision that makes the fantasy community scratch their head. Brandon Staley comes to mind. Speaking of the Chargers and dumbasses, the Jets pulled their best offensive weapon, Breece Hall, in the fourth quarter of Monday night’s game for no apparent reason. I guess Robert Saleh doesn’t like 6 yards per carry versus one of the worst run defenses in the league? Or how about coach Arthur Smith (pictured at top) saying that Bijan Robinson’s “impact away from the ball can open things up” when asked about Bijan’s lack of use between the sticks. Smith may be the king of the dumbasses.
If I could sit him down and talk some sense into him, this would be my message to Arthur Smith: Dude, you don’t have a QB. You should be handing it off to Bijan 40 times a game! Pull your head out of your ass. White mf.
Week 9 Observations
*CJ Stroud broke the rookie record for most passing yards in a game with 470. All the bitching and moaning I’ve done about Dameon Pierce not finding success on the ground, I should have been loading up on Stroud, Tank Dell, and Nico Collins shares. Noah Brown will be a hot pick up this week as the WR totaled 6 catches for 153 yards and a TD. Temper your expectations, 75 of those yards were on one catch and he’s never topped 555 yards in his 6 seasons in the NFL. Seems like an odd time for a breakout at age 27, but stranger things have happened.
*Dak Prescott (374 yards, 3 TD’s) and CeeDee Lamb (11-191-0) have found their groove. Tony Pollard (51 rush yards, 3 catches for 12 yards) not so much. Pollard has only eclipsed 100 rushing yards once this season vs. Arizona. Hasn’t scored since week 1. Weird for the clear lead back on a prolific offense, but it is what it is.
*AJ Brown is unstoppable. Sure, he only caught 7 for 66 and a touch, but if that is a down week, sign me up. He had 6 straight weeks of at least 130 yards prior to this week. He’s on pace to crush his 1,496 yardage total from last year. He’s already at 1,005.
*Travis Kelce only caught 3 for 14 yards. You can totally buy low on him. Owners are probably suicidal.
*Someone remind Cade Otton (6-70-2) that Mike Evans and Chris Godwin are on the Bucs too, so he should stop hogging all the TD’s.
*Vikings are a fun team. So Kirk Cousins goes down last week with an Achilles tear. Enter Jaren Hall. Who then gets concussed in the first quarter of play this week. Enter Joshua Dobbs, who was traded to the Vikings days earlier, who then goes off for 3 TD’s and 66 rush yards, leading the Vikings to a road win vs. the Falcons.
*As noted above, Arthur Smith is capping Bijan Robinson’s upside (51 rush yards, 2 rec for 8 yards) because he can open things up away from the ball? Whatevs.
*Clayton Tune (58 pass yards, 2 INT, fumble lost), welcome to the NFL. For your first start you get the Browns D in Cleveland. Meet Myles Garrett. He will be your guide for the day. Good luck.
*Puka Nacua (3-32-0) and Cooper Kupp (2-48-0) desperately need Matt Stafford back.
*Sam Howell has now put up back to back 300+ yard performances for the Commanders. Vs. Eagles and Patriots.
*Mac Jones hasn’t topped 300 yards since week 1. There is talk of Bill Belichick being on the hot seat if they lose this week to Indy. Bill Belichick, a mid season firing? Never thought I’d see the day. If it happens, he can always go back to doubling for Mama Fratelli from The Goonies at Comic Con.
*Justin Fields is close to returning, possibly as early as this week. But Tyson Bagent hasn’t been terrible. He just ran for 70 yards vs. the Saints stout run D. If Justin Fields is the long term answer in Chicago, maybe the Bears can get some of that sweet Jimmy Garoppolo money for Bagent if they trade him during the off season.
*Taysom Hill rushed for 52 yards, caught 4 for 13 yards a TD, and threw a 3 yard TD. He will get you 20 fantasy points or 2 fantasy points, but you have to start him weekly at this point. If you have a better option at TE, Hill’s trade value will never be higher. Just saying.
*The Seahawks suck. That’s the observation.
*The Ravens blew out the Seahawks and ran the ball a total of 40+ times as a team. The popular pick up will be Keaton Mitchell, who ran for 138 yards and a TD. Please note, that was all in the 4th quarter after the starters were pulled. Could be an Achane situation, could be nothing. My bet is it’s nothing as long as Gus Edwards is healthy.
*In all of the Raiders QB drama, the ones suffering are Davante Adams owners. This week he caught 4 for 34 in a rout of the Giants. Someone gonna tell Aiden O’Connell he’s the guy?
*By the way, we can’t decide, is Aiden O’Connell more Nacho Libre or more Paul Blart?
*Jonathan Taylor is getting more and more involved, this week catching 5 for 22 and a TD to go with 47 yards rushing. Sell Zack Moss while you can.
*Ya think Joe Burrow is all healed up? If not check out his 348 yards and 2 TD’s vs. the Bills. It wasn’t all puppy dogs and rainbows: Ja’Marr Chase (4-41-0) hurt his back in the contest and is now day-to-day.
*Josh Allen (258 yards, TD, 44 rush yards, TD) and Stefon Diggs (6-86-1) did what they usually do, they were just outplayed and the Bills D looked sluggish. They should get right this week when they host Denver.
*The Jets D is legit af. They held Justin Herbert to just 136 pass yards and no TD’s.
*Austin Ekeler is right back to being the swiss army knife for the Chargers. He rushed for 47 yards and 2 scores and caught 2 for 23. The team on the whole looked good. Herbert didn’t turn the ball over in the air, Keenan Allen caught his 10,000th yard, and the Chargers got the W.
Apropos of being called a white mf by a Prince fan, and the Minnesota Vikings (Prince’s favorite team) beating the Falcons on the road, it’s all about the Twin Cities this week, so… meet Emily…
…The only thing this Minnesotan loves more than her Vikings is traveling. She recently traipsed all over the cobblestone streets of Granada, Spain. When she’s not shaking her purple pom poms, she is helping her clients as a Certified Health Coach. Hey Em, what is the best way to treat weakness in the knees? Asking for a friend!