NFL Week 5: Homecoming
NFL Week 5: Homecoming
It was a long wait: preseason hold out, PUP for 4 weeks of the regular season, speculation on trades, but Jonathan Taylor finally had his 2023 debut, a homecoming if you will, in Indianapolis vs. the Titans… and meh. He ended his day with 6 carries for 18 yards and a catch for 16. My dumbass started him in two leagues because I figured if he was healthy, and they just paid him $42 million, why wouldn’t they insert him into his starter role immediately? That was not the case. Zack Moss out carried him (23), out ran him (165 rush yards), out scored him (2 TD’s), out everything’d him. So Jonathan Taylor’s homecoming was a whole lotta nada.
Speaking of homecomings, my high school and college homecomings were this past weekend as well. I went to my college homecoming and had a blast: connected with a bunch of great people I haven’t seen in days/weeks/years, had some drinks, shared/remembered embarrassing stories. Good, wholesome, adult fun.
As for my highschool homecoming, normally I wouldn’t be aware of it, but my son, who is now a freshman in highschool, goes to my Alma Mater. They had the typical rally, football game, and homecoming dance. We won the game and my son went to the dance. It was a bit different than what I went through with formal dances at that age. When I went to high school we would all take a date to the formals.
My son ended up going with a group of his buddies. They got a limo, had dinner, went to the dance, and afterwards got dropped off at In-N-Out for midnight double doubles. That’s way better than taking a date. Especially when you’re 14. When I was 14 I hated those formal dances because meeting my date's parents was scary (the dad was invariably a dick), dinner was awkward (didn’t want to get steak sauce on my dad’s ties), and I would spend most of the night holding in farts and feigning enjoyment. That lasted all 4 years. I got older, but the gas remained. Glad to see this generation take the pressure off of themselves and just go with a group and have fun. They can eat their steak sloppy, fart, cuss, and build some good memories.
Perhaps this could be a lesson for the Colts. Don’t hold back on Jonathan Taylor for fear you’ll get steak sauce on your $42 million dollar running back. Let him get out there and carry the ball 20 times, fart, cuss, hang out with his homies, and win those of us who waited the last 4 weeks a damn championship!
Week 5 Observations
*They come in 3’s. Starting Thursday night with DJ Moore it was the week of the 3 TD receiver. DJ Moore (8-230-3), Ja’Marr Chase (15-192-3), and George Kittle (3-67-3) all put up triple house calls. Buy low window is officially shut on all three of these studs.
*Speaking of Thursday, who saw the Bears turning it around? Justin Fields feasted with a second week of ravenous numbers: 282 pass yards and 4 TD’s to go with 11 rushes for 57 yards.
*So is Joe Burrow’s calf ok or? He came off of back to back stinkers and threw for 317 yards and 3 TD’s (all to Chase). Not that Cardinals D is anything to write home about. If you own him you have to start him, but that bye week (7) can’t get here soon enough.
*The London games are probably good for the NFL, but silently watching a game half asleep on my phone while my better half is still asleep is not ideal. The game seemed like it was slow until the last 20 minutes, but I could have been dreaming. Calvin Ridley broke a hundred yards for the first time since week 1. Sell high. Travis Ettiene scored a pair of TD’s on 136 yards rushing.
*Bills passing game is fun to watch. This was a mere bump in the road for them. I blame the jet lag.
*Jared Goff rushed in his second TD of the season. He had zero last year. He also threw for 3 TD’s. He has played well all year, obviously, but he especially plays well at home.
*David Montgomery broke 100 for the second week in a row (109-1). He’s rolling. All that Jahmyr Gibbs preseason hype got me off of Monty and made him one of the best draft day values.
*Week 1 Adam Thielen caught 2 balls for 12 yards. Since then he has gone 7-53-1, 11-145-1, 7-76-0, and this week 11-107-1. You probably picked him up for free and have a WR1.
*I was so high on Anthony Richardson preseason. Yeah, I’m out now. He may be the second coming of Cam Newton. Don’t care. If he comes back from this most recent injury (and it’s not looking great in the near term) he is on my “wait and see” list.
*Are you out on Derrick Henry yet? I mean, you can’t be but it’s been brutal owning the dude. Last week he broke out for 122 and a touch. This week he fell back to earth for 43 scoreless rush yards and a few catches. Tyjae Spears scored but only had 7 carries, so Henry is still the man. For now. You may want to get some feelers out there to see what you can get for him. The fall off for RB’s are quick and sad. We may be seeing one in real time.
*I like how everyone is singing about a Kyle Pitts breakout game. He was being force fed the ball with a season high 11 targets and turned it into 7 catches for 87 scoreless yards. His hype has preceded him since his rookie year. He’s just a dude.
*I am close to out on Jaylen Waddle. He caught just 5 for 35 this week, scoring his first TD of the season. Without that score, there’d be more blood on the streets talk. I’m still starting him where I own him because of the offense he is on, but jeez, he has yet to top 86 yards and already missed a game due to injury.
*With De’Von Achane facing multiple weeks off with a knee injury, all you Mostert holders gotta be quietly celebrating.
*Giants are fucked.
*I don’t know what to make of either the PIttsburgh Steelers or the Baltimore Ravens other than 9 times out of 10 you take the under when they play each other. This week was no exception. Pitt is now first in that division.
*Last week it was the catches, this week it was the carries for Alvin Kamara. He had 22 totes for 80 and a score. As long as that AC joint is bugging Derek Carr, Kamara is gonna feast. Either short catches, lots of carries, or both.
*Patriots are fucked.
*Breece Hall put the team on his back with 22 carries for 170 yards and a score. The Jets have officially taken the bubble wrap off and it’s all systems go.
*Travis Kelce is the most Enchanted TE. He hurts his ankle, limps to the locker room, does his best to Shake It Off, and comes back minutes later in true Anti-Hero fashion to score. Never in my Wildest Dreams would I think he’d be that resilient. He’s The Man.
*So.. Puka Nacua (7-71-1) and Cooper Kupp (8-118-0) CAN coexist.
*Justin Jefferson injured his hammy. He was holding that offense together. Kirk Cousins trade talks are already lighting up Twitter/X. I own them both in one league and want to crawl into a hole and eat pumpkin spice oreos and cry.
Apropos of Jonathan Taylor’s unceremonious return to Indy, meet Kacey…
She is a 3rd year Colts Cheerleader veteran who works in the NICU. In other words, she takes care of babies who are in need of the most care. There is nothing sweeter in this world than someone who helps our little ones. She went to Xavier University and one day hopes to travel around the world. We just happen to have some extra frequent flyer miles if you’re asking, Kace!