NFL Week 10: F You For Your Service
NFL Week 10: F You For Your Service
Saturday was Veterans Day, a day that hits deep for me because I have a Grandfather, uncles, cousins, good friends and in-laws who have served in the military during times of war and times of peace. Saying “thank you” to show our appreciation for armed service veterans who have sacrificed their lives and lost time with loved ones in order to defend our country is the least we can do. So I make it a point to text/call/pray for the vets in my life, both living and in heaven.
I noticed a popular meme going around leading up to Veterans Day this year of a person driving in a vehicle, wearing military garb, holding up an iPhone with a tip option screen (like the ones you would see when you buy a latte at Starbucks).
The implication is “save your ‘thank you for your service’ and give me some cash if you really want to show your appreciation.” Not sure if that’s funny to actual Veterans, but to me it’s cynical at best and at worst it shits on every person I know who sacrificed their lives and time for us on the field of battle, at a desk in an armed service field office, and everywhere in between. Here is why: my “thank you” is a thank you not just to you, but to all who have come before you and will come after you. It is a thank you to the idea of having people in this world who put others before themselves. It is a thank you for my Grandfather, Jesus Diaz, who had to leave his young wife to ship out overseas to fight for the U.S. in World War 2. It is a thank you to all of my Grandfather’s Army brothers who fought alongside him so he can come home safe and start a family with that wife, my grandmother, a family that would include my father, a man who sort of had an important role in me being here today writing an article about fake football. So in a way, my “thank you for your service” is gratitude for being alive and having a family and friends of my own, for without our Veterans, I would literally not be here.
I can’t imagine an actual Veteran responding like the “Veteran” in the pic above is responding if anyone sent them a “thank you for your service” message, but if they did I would want to respond “Ok then F you for your service you ungracious dick. May all your future bj’s be toothy and all of your shits be runny and burning.” But I would never say that, because I love my family and friends who have served alongside smart ass pricks like the one pictured and I would never wish anything on them but peace, love, and fantastic, well formed, one-wipe poops.
So to all the Veterans, Happy belated Veterans Day and
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.
You know who I do not wish to thank for their service? Tyler Boyd (pictured at top, laying down like a chump). That little shit cost me my place in a Survivor Pool that had only 12 of 70 players left. I was so close to the money. I picked the Cincinnati Bengals at home versus the Houston Texans because: a.) I had already used Dallas, b.) I thought the CJ Stroud hype train got a little ahead of itself and c.) the Bengals were a hot team who finally had a fully healthy QB in Joe Burrow. Boy was I wrong. Or should I say, Boyd was I wrong. The Bengals were caught flat footed for most of the game, until Burrow tossed a 64 yard TD to Ja’Marr Chase and soon the Bengals were within 3 points of the Texans. Then Joe Burrow, in the red zone, tossed a gem to Tyler Boyd that would have put them ahead by 4. The ball hit Boyd in the hands. Then Boyd proceeded to play patty cake with it as it dropped to the floor. The drive ended in a field goal, tying the game, and leaving the door open for a CJ Stroud game winning drive, thus ending my Survivor hopes and dreams.
F you for your service, Tyler. Hope you got a toothy bj post game.
Week 10 Observations
*It being Veterans day, the NFL ironically sent a team called the Patriots to play a game in Germany. Careful, NFL. Those Germans are not all sunshine and lollipops.
*Mac Jones was so bad, he was benched for the last drive in favor of Bailey Zappe. And just like that, the Patriots went from “shit” to “fucking shit”.
*Jonathan Taylor is back to his workhorse role: 24 carries, 75 yards, TD. Zack Moss had just 1 carry.
*Didn’t see the Jags getting their asses kicked at home vs. the 49’ers coming. Jags came off of winning 5 in a row, but the bye came at a bad time as it cooled them off. Trevor Lawrence couldn’t get in rhythm and even threw a pick 6. 49’ers are looking like the team to beat again in the NFC.
*If you bought low on Calvin Ridley, congrats. If you didn’t, congrats. The price is still the same because he still can’t catch a football (2-20-0).
*Kareem Hunt (32 rush yards, TD) went from being a pass catching compliment to Nick Chubb, to being on his couch, to being the goal line back next to Jerome Ford (107 rush yards, rec 2 yards)? Weird. Being a Jerome Ford owner in multiple leagues, this is frustrating.
*I didn’t see Joshua Dobbs catching on so fast in Minnesota. Dude ran for 44 yards and a score to go with 268 pass yards and another TD to TJ Hockenson (11-134-1). Justin Jefferson can’t heal fast enough.
*Derek Carr got hurt so Jameis Winston replaced him. Same ol’ Jameis Winston: 2 TD’s, 2 picks. How can you not love him?
*Speaking of love, Mike Evans caught 6 for 143 and a TD. Now if only Baker can start spreading some of that love to Chris Godwin (4-54-0)
*I observed last week that it would be odd for a 27 year old receiver who hadn’t had more than 555 yards in 6 seasons to all of a sudden break out, but here we are. Noah Brown caught 7 for 172 Sunday after catching 6 for 153 and a score last week. Is CJ Stroud making Noah Brown a star?
*CJ Stroud is Peyton Manning without the giant forehead and 50 different endorsement deals. After throwing 470 yards and 5 TD’s last week, he went to Cincy and tossed 356 yards and a touch. He threw a pick this week, sure, but he was not shaken up at any point and calmly led a game winning drive on the road against a playoff team. He is as real deal as Salma Hayek’s tits.
*A rising tide lifts all boats. Devin Singletary, the most underwhelming back in the history of backs, is now the lead back in Houston with the Dameon Pierce injury. Singletary rushed 30 times for 150 yards and a TD.
*It is downright criminal how good CeeDee Lamb (11-151-1) is playing. He is the first receiver in NFL history with 3 straight games of at least 10 catches and 150 yards.
*The Giants need to just pack it in, play scrubs for ROS, and tank for Caleb.
*Kyler Murray was back after his long torn ACL absence. Didn't throw for any scores, but did rush for 33 yards and a TD so he still has legs.
*Washington Football Team is such a weird offense. Brian Robinson (119 rec yards) and Antonio Gibson (42 yards) led the team in receiving.
*Chargers and Lions were fun to watch. It was one of those “last to score wins”. As a Charger fan, I am pissed that we lost, but we hung around so I am encouraged. Encouraged that this loss will lead to the firing of Brandon Staley.
*Josh Allen threw 2 picks and lost a fumble in a stinker at home vs. the Broncos. Do we have to start taking their defense seriously now that they have frustrated both Allen and Patrick Mahomes? If you are still alive in Survivor, I wouldn’t pick against the Broncos any time soon. Unlike me. I’m not alive. Thanks again, Tyler Boyd!
Apropos of Veterans Day being this past weekend and the Patriots showing those kraut loving Germans what American Football is all about, meet Jillian…
…This Jersey girl (born in Hazlet, NJ) is a Patriot cheer rookie who studied at the University of New Haven. She loves showing her Patriot Pride on Sunday, but her day job is a Security Consultant. Hey Jills, someone just stole our heart! Got room in your sched for a consultation?